As a native Russian speaker, my biggest issue with writing in English is having a wide and deep and venerable (see? I'm trying) enough vocabulary to express the girth and the breadth and the uber-complexity of my visions. Or, in simple words, bloody know how to bloody describe this bloody scene that bloody hangs in my brain like a picture and I CAN'T BLOODY FIND THE EXACT WORDS TO DESCRIBE IT IN THE EXACT BLOODY WAY I SEE IT. Whew, it felt good to say "bloody" so many times. I must have been born British. Anyway. 

I have been struggling with this for almost three years now, and every time I try to devise a new system to learn new words faster. Here are a few.

• I tried reading a dictionary (don't try this alone at home, you might be tempted to detonate the house).
• I tried making lists of new words I came across in books and read them before I'd start writing (which only led to frustration because I'd have to look up meanings and want to drive my head through a microwave).
• I tried picking a common word, like "walk," and looking up all its synonyms in an effort to memorize every possible way there was to walk (those words, when used in my writing, felt foreign, like they didn't belong there).
• I tried eating rocks, but that for some reason didn't help either. Nor drinking copious amounts of vodka.

But recently I have found something that has been working fantastically, so I want to share it with you. Naturally, I expect all kinds of gifts in the mail for this, like crystal chandeliers, and pet monkeys, and hedgehog pudding, and a casket full of golden skulls (and socks).

Here is how you can expand your vocabulary fast.

STEAL IT FROM OTHERS.

1. Read every day at least 100 pages. I read a page a minute, so on most days I read about 100-120 pages in 2 hours, provided no annoying children or stray meteors interrupt me.
2. Have a notebook handy and write down everything new you notice, a new word or a particularly nice turn of phrase. I type mine in Notes on my phone.
3. When done reading, organize your new words according to the sample below (or design your own system). I copy and paste them into Notes on my laptop.
4. When you write, every time you stumble and grope for a word, consult your little cheat sheet with "stolen" words. They will jolt your memory and remind you of that word's use in a particular book. For example, if you're tired of saying "she stared" or "he stared," go to DIALOGUE (ACTION) section and pick out "gawk" or "gape" or "scrutinize."
5. Over time, delete words from your list that you have memorized, to keep it fresh and short. It it will grow too long, you will stop using it. It will become too daunting.

Okay, now that I have described the method, I will paste a sample from my notes, so you can see what I'm talking about. Before you dive into it, remember: whatever categorizations I came up with, work for me because they match my writing patterns. It might be different for you. For example, action verbs and dialogue emotion descriptors are important to me. I don't like many adjectives in my prose, and I like adverbs in my dialogue, as in "he muttered dejectedly" or "she said severely." By the way, to hell with the whole "don't use adverbs" and "only say said in dialogue." I have thrown this common restriction out the window because I like reading books that use both, and I like writing this way (I used to be afraid to write the way I like.)

BEHOLD. HERE IS THE LIST.

ACTION (MOVEMENT): prance, wobble, plough, toddle, swarm, moil, scuttle, scull, buzz, wiggle, bung, toss, shoot, putter, scamper, accost, toil, hem, lollop, parabole, swat... 

ACTION (LOOK): stare, gape, gawk, regard, scrutinize, study...  

ACTION (APPEARANCE): coruscate, glisten, dwindle...

ACTION (SOUND): crackled like splintering glass, under the rhythmic chug of the train ran a thinner sound, raucous screams, clatter, twang...

DESCRIPTION (EMOTION): clasp forehead, cheeks glow, lump in throat, heart in stomach, parched throat, flicking tongue, gritted smile, overflown eyelids, mesmeric gaze...

DIALOGUE (ACTION): twang, whoop, gibber, reflect, explain, admonish, lampoon, forestall, interpolate, rescind (the words), plink, spate (of grunting), titter, potpourri (of speech)...

DIALOGUE (EMOTION DESCRIPTION): sourly, contentedly, appreciatively, impressed, slovenly, hypnotically, diffidently, vehemently, plaintively, crestfallen, gravelly, harried, balefully, contritely...

PEOPLE: gofer, scut, somnambulist, an unscrupulous man, pettifogger, scanty girl, old duffer, rube, cad, layabout, ninny, incontinent cow, vandal, twerp, pillock...

MOODS: crepuscular, pensive, sanguine, splenetic, mercurial, docile attitude, crabbed tenderness, last vestiges of self-control, vertiginous shock, titillation, fomented panic...

WEATHER: tossing branches, cloud of glittering snowdust, furrowed water, mist swirled in cold swathes, a rift in the swirling vapor, muted murmur of the pines, rain pittered and pattered...

LANDSCAPE: little headland fringed in birches, supported by an underpinning of tarred wooden posts, brick culvert, great dales, copse, below the scree, espaliered fruit trees...

NOUNS: clarion, vicissitude, tiffin, affray, eiderdown, osculation, numen, subtlety, adroitness, ablution, vivacity, demise...

ADJECTIVES: vainglorious, obsequious, inviolable, soporific, veritable, fatuous, louche, tenuous, germane, unrelenting, glabrous...

COLORS: callow-green, limpid stained-glass blue, tawdry gold, peat brown, verdant, the hue of ripe corn...

This is a sampling of my list. There are about 10 times more words, but those are all the categories I have. I replenish it with new words and phrases every day. The phrases you see here are mostly from books by Tove Jansson, Terry Pratchett, Stephen King, and Lemony Snicket (it's what I've been reading lately). They are for me to understand how I can string words together. I don't steal steal them, I look at them and give birth (with a hideous grunt) to my own.

Action verbs are a big deal for me as good active action verbs propel the story forward nicely. I constantly seek a way to express my story in this basic formula: noun + verb. The elephant pirouetted. The ruler twanged (upon meeting a scoundrel's buttocks) . The donut dwindled. Etc.

Above all, READ LIKE CRAZY, AND YOUR VOCABULARY WILL GROW. There. Rant over.

Helpful? Try it. Tell me how it works for you. Or share your own tricks.

Onward.