Yes, you read that right. Four more books coming. Three paperbacks and one audiobook. But let me give you all the news in the proper order. To start with...

SIREN SUICIDES IS FINALLY LIVE EVERYWHERE!!!

That means, it's alive. That means, it's published and available for purchase and download everywhere, like on Amazon and on iBooks and Barnes & Noble and other places, and a few weeks later when you ask for it at your local bookstore or library it will be available there too. IngramSpark takes a while to get the book up and running, but don't despair. Or you can pester them now and see what they say, bookstores and libraries, that is.

Oh, and after the IngramSpark copy appears in their system or whatever, I will celebrate by giving away 5 copies on Goodreads!!! They only allow a giveaway of a physical copy, so stay tuned for that. I will kiss them and then I will sleep with them under my pillow, and then in the morning while they still warm I will sign them and ship them to the winners, so as soon as they get them, cold-blooded sirens get out and sing out their souls and they will be no more. So maybe don't enter the giveaway. Sounds like a bad idea.

I'm so happy the whole Siren Suicides saga is over! I can't tell you. It's been my first story, my first self-publishing effort, and of course it was clumsy and rough and this Second Edition is an attempt to extract the essence of what I wanted to say and Sarah Grace Liu did an amazing job editing 3 books into 1, and we both agreed that WE WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN. It was a fucking royal pain in the ass, and I hope you like the result.

Now, moving on to the other books, as by now you're scratching your head and wondering, right?

NEW BOOK 1: "MAD TUTU WRITING" IS HAPPENING!!!

I have to give this three exclamation marks, just to match the other line. So, all hail amazing Spencer Borup who not only is proofreading my books for you so you don't break your eyes over misspellings and other grammatical imposters that have this secret way to hide in the book despite me and Sarah reading it a million times over, but also signed up to do this and the two other books, and believe me, I have warned him. I told him, "Spencer, you realize what you're getting yourself into?" And Spencer said that "Yes, I realize," and I told him I'm crazy and he is crazy and I think he agreed, or something along these lines. 

Anyway, you wanted me to make a book on writing from all my blog posts, and so Spencer is reading through ALL of them and extracting the wisest wisdoms (which there are none, it's all nonsense, but Spencer thinks he can find some, GOOD LUCK) and then compile them all into a book, and voila. It will be done. There is no deadline for this, so it will take a while. Don't get all excited.

NEW BOOKS 2, 3: "ASLEEP AWAKE" WILL BECOME A REALITY!!!

Yeah, the Asleep Awake thing is happening too, and Spencer is the one who is doing it too. It's my old blog posts from when I was going through serious therapy, and I dug them up and dropped them all into a PDF and many of you read it and many of you emailed me with demands on making it into a book. See? I'm doing everything you want! Everything you ask! It has started! 

Spencer has this idea that it should be two books, Asleep, all black cover, and Awake, all white cover. The damn manuscript is something like 150K words, so of course I need to break it into two books, I didn't even think about that. This is a long-term project and I don't know when it will be completed, but at some point it will. Hold your breath.

NEW BOOK 4: "THE BADLINGS" AUDIOBOOK IS DONE!!! 

It is! It is! I have approved the final recording and in about 2 weeks the Amazon ACX thing is supposed to approve it and it will be on iTunes and on Audible and on Amazon, and I will post links everywhere, and they will also be on The Badlings page so check back there in a couple weeks. I will also be giving out free codes for the free audiobook, so stay tuned for that too.

Well, I should've said "six more coming," because TUBE and JANNA are coming soon too. JANNA is at 96K words now, and once I'm done with it I will do Draft 4 of TUBE and it will be ready (I hope) for Sarah and then for publication. So you see, I really do poop books. Not to mention that whenever I'm on a break between drafts I write a short story and file it way in my Short Story Collection, and it's at 7K words now, and 1 more story will come there in July if it doesn't win the Hemingway contest, and at one point it will be close to 70-80K words, and then I will publish it in book form too.

Jesus. Look at all these books! Am I crazy or what? I definitely am.

And I wish I could write faster because I'm excited to write MARQUIS AND PLATO about the talking cat and his friend pigeon, and then CUPID about the middle-aged librarian who discovers sex, and then SEAMSTRESS about a girl who changes into people whose clothes she sews, and then finally, finally! DOGWOOD! The sequel to ROSEHEAD! So there you have it, these will be the next three years of my life, if the world doesn't explode in the meantime, of course, so please make sure to turn off your stove every night. Remember, my book production depends on it.

Onward.