Search
  • Blog
  • Books
  • Publications
  • Bio
  • Contact
  • Sign in
Close
Menu
Search
Close
  • Blog
  • Books
  • Publications
  • Bio
  • Contact
  • Sign in
Menu

Ksenia Anske

August 10, 2015

Where I answer questions from your postcard, Penny

by Ksenia Anske


Thank you for beautiful questions, Penny. Here are my answers.

1. Have you ever gotten lost thinking how it all could just be make-believe?

Yes, all the time, since I was very small, in fact. I often thought that life as I saw it wasn't real and made up my own theories about it. When I was 5 or so, I was eating purplish berries from the juneberry tree bush at our dacha, standing on the rickety bench, and I came up with an idea that when I will grow old, I'll turn around and grow young again, then grow old, and so all those stories about death are nonsense. Another time I was fascinated how I could never look at myself the way other people look at me. I could never get out of my head, so I set upon staring at the mirror and trying to get out of my head. And yet another time when I looked under the bed where my grandmother laid out persimmons on the newspapers to ripen, I thought I saw a sea of them, not just some thirty persimmons, but a whole sea, and I was convinced that my reality was realer than what I saw. I still do it, when I write. I sometimes catch myself thinking that maybe all of it is make-believe, only we each have our own, and I live in mine and show others what it's like through my stories.

Read More

TAGS: question, answer, postcard, creativity, artists


March 5, 2015

The more intense the emotions, the better the writing

by Ksenia Anske


Photo by Rosie Hardy

Photo by Rosie Hardy

Photo by Rosie Hardy

Photo by Rosie Hardy

The amount of stuff I feel saturates me sometimes to the point of puking. I want to vomit it all out to be rid of it, or else it will suffocate me. Physically. A hand of anxiety will plant its meaty fingers on my chest and push down until I choke. 

I used to ignore this and channel it inward and get sick, in the body and in the mind. I didn't understand where it was coming from. That's what everyone did, especially everyone in Russia. Our lovely cultural upbringing can be summarized thusly: hide it, hide it, hide it. Push it in. I got so good at this, it's difficult to resist the familiar urge. 

Read More

TAGS: emotions, feelings, writing, intensity, art, artists, confidence


April 5, 2014

On fear and writing

by Ksenia Anske


Photo by Phillip Schumacher

Photo by Phillip Schumacher

Photo by Phillip Schumacher

Photo by Phillip Schumacher

I'm afraid. I write every day and I'm scared shitless. I'm scared about everything. Will I be able to write a good book, a book good enough, good enough in my eyes to share it with the world? Will my readers like it? Will strangers who never heard about me like it? I'm afraid every day and I write every day, and I'm still afraid. It never goes away. My 10 year old son has started readingROSEHEAD, my 2nd novel, and I have yet to publish it on other sites besides Amazon, like I promised, and put up a free ebook file on my site, like I promised, and when my son tells me that this book is the best he has read all year, I'm afraid again. I'm afraid he tells me that because I'm his mom and he loves me and just wants to say nice things to me. I asked him. I asked, would you have said it about this book if it wasn't mine? He said, yes. Still, I'm afraid. He recommended it to his friend in school, and his mom told me today that he is reading it and enjoying it, and my son told me that he said his friend likes it. A LOT. Still, I'm afraid. I want to ask, are you sure? Really? REALLY???

Read More

TAGS: love, fear, writing, art, artists, trust, ispiration, community, readers