I guess I'm so obsessed with learning how to write well, how to write so that my books will be read by millions, is because I want to tell my story, the story I couldn't tell as a child and was told to keep quiet as an adult. The story that almost made me take my life. The story I want others to know, so we can all stop it. So those who won't speak out of fear will perhaps speak up. If we all stopped hiding behind our fears, perhaps we could change this world.

But I'm not there yet. I'm just not good enough yet. I've only been writing for four years, and it's nothing. I'm often terrified of dying before I get enough writing under my belt to get that good. It's a real fear. It's eating me. It's driving me to hardly sleep or eat, and to work and work and work like mad. Learn, learn, learn. I don't know what else I can do to speed up this process. The urgency is palpable.