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Ksenia Anske

April 12, 2017

Finding a writing mentor and working together

by Ksenia Anske


Illustration by David Biskup

Illustration by David Biskup

Illustration by David Biskup

Illustration by David Biskup

I never actually looked for a writing mentor (who wants to stay anonymous, because, as he explained to me, he doesn't like to be bothered by people and prefers to live a quiet life—so I shall call him Basil Bee, or Vasya Pchelkin in Russian). We somehow found each other (on Twitter, of all places) and over time fell into the roles of a student (me) and a teacher (Pchelkin), and then it kind of went developing from there (we meet once a month or so, occasionally text and exchange emails).

I think when you're ready for a mentor, you'll find one.

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TAGS: This made me warm, writing this, like family-warm, you know?, I feel like life is giving me this, because I was finally ready, ready to receive, to believe I'm worth it


December 31, 2016

Things I'm afraid to say in public

by Ksenia Anske


Art by Reza Bassiri

Art by Reza Bassiri

Art by Reza Bassiri

Art by Reza Bassiri

Inspired by this Twitter conversation, I thought I'd start being less afraid of who I am and how I think and what I think. I need to come to terms with the fact that not everyone will like me, and there is nothing I can do about it. The typical need of a survivor is always to please others; I'm learning to shed it. The violence in my childhood taught me to keep my head down and to be quiet, but I'm not a child anymore, and unless I stop being afraid and be me, I won't be happy.

However, before you read any further, let me preface by stating that this post is not meant to offend or hurt anyone and is solely an expression of my feelings, which is what keeps me sane and stops me from sliding into depression. Writing out my feelings keeps me happy. And if I'm not happy, I can't make those around me happy, and then it no longer matters what happens in the world because I no longer want to be in it, and I'm not going that route. Been there, done that, thanks no. 

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TAGS: how healing it is, when I start writing it, it made me exhilarated, writing this, and how much I'm looking forward to CUPID, provided the world is still standing, The multitude of feelings I felt!, there I'll really go crazy, to express love, Happy New Year!