BLOODY SANTA vs ZOMBIE SIREN. Chapter 2.

by Ksenia Anske in


Right. We continue our chain story. Read about how it started here.

Please welcome our 2nd author, Andrew Hovenden, (aka @ajhovenden). Between MMA and chasing 6 kids, conflict is nothing new for Andrew. Maybe that is why he enjoys writing so much. The fight between brain, pen and paper is the ultimate thrill. Which wins varies by day. No true losers though in this wild wonderful mystical world called life.

Photo by John Minkoff

BLOODY SANTA vs ZOMBIE SIREN. Chapter 2 by Andrew Hovenden

“Ready my sleigh!” Santa’s bellow echoed through the hall as he strode towards the main hangar. His steel toed boots rang on the hard floors and elves squealed in terror as they scattered in front of him. Calling for body armor and his personal arms he gave terse orders that gave him only small satisfaction to see carried out swiftly and with not a just little fear.

Stomping through the East Wing he walked by the banks of cloning cells that lined a large part of this part of his home. Allowing a sardonic smile to briefly cross his hard features he mused that the best thing he had done was to sterilize all the elves and begin cloning them. It had taken him years, not a few kidnappings of promising genetic scientists and millions of dollars, but what else was there to do in this god forsaken wasteland over the last few dozen years.

With elves as a commodity now it was easier to keep them in line. Use and discard that was his policy, a policy that tended to keep them inline and allowed him to play as he wanted. His thoughts lingered briefly on some of the more interesting genetic alterations that his “volunteer” scientists had promised were coming along in time for Christmas.

The massive doors on the hangar bay opened soundlessly before him and he paused for a minute and looked out across the organized chaos spread out over three stories below him.

As the chatter of the working elves rose to where he stood Santa made a mental note to have all of their voices genetically lowered, God he hated their squeaky voices.

It had been years since he burned the original sleigh. No more wood and jingle bells. No more red paint and satin seats. No more filthy reindeer farting in his face as he whipped them along the night sky. Not that he had gotten rid of the reindeer though, too much fun breeding them and pitting them against elves that had fallen from favor. Oh yes the reindeer games were a highly attended and enjoyable event nowadays. 

Elves scurried up to him and he took his body armor and weapons from them, kicking them aside if they did not move fast enough as he strode to the elevator leading  to the ground floor. The elevator descended and he walked out into the imposing shadow of his “sleigh”. Midnight black, almost a full two hundred meters long and fifty wide, it looked more like a mini star destroyer out of Star Wars than a sleigh. Weapon ports along each side and turrets on top and bottom definitely gave a new meaning to Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas. Naughty now had serious repercussions.

Grunting with satisfaction he boarded and sank into his command chair. All of his chairs’ status lights were green so he barked out the order to launch. Sirens blared and elves screamed as they ran for cover as the oversized engines punched the sleigh forward onto the ice. Santa gave no thought to the elves that failed to move fast enough to escape the back blast.

“Course Santa?” came the query from navigation.

Santa peered over at the elf, almost shocked at the question and pulling his pistol from his shoulder holster shot the impudent elf. “We need a new navigator” He sneered as the smoke cleared. The elevators behind him opened and in perfect silence two elves grabbed the body and disappeared while a third slid into the still warm bloody seat.

“Never speak unless spoken to”, Santa growled warningly. Eyes twinkling evilly Santa ordered, “Set our course for Kaffeklubben Island, engines at full, and remember dear elves, on the bridge it is Captain Santa.”

P.S.: This is 2nd Chapter of BLOODY SANTA vs ZOMBIE SIREN. Here are links to previous Chapters: Chapter 1.

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