by Ksenia Anske

Right. We continue our chain story. Read about how it started here.

Please welcome our 3rd author, Christopher Liccardi (aka @NiteWriter07), who likes to express his bio in the following words: #funny #smart #witty #alwayslookingforastory #constantlywritingsomething #alwayshorny #fiercelyloyal #lovestoplaywithhisdog #workingonthreenovels #shortstories #didImentionhewasalwaysreadytoshowhisladyagoodtime #lovesanythingwithastory #insanelycreative #getslostinhisownstories #anythingelsejustask

Photo by Nene-Ane

BLOODY SANTA vs ZOMBIE SIREN. Chapter 3 by Christopher Liccardi

“Yyeess Sirr.” Replied the replacement elf. If he made it through the night sitting this close to the red goblin, he would be sure to mark that as an occasion to drink heavily at his next leave of duty.

Having many months of down time to fiddle and tinker with the workings of the RD-2010 Destroyer, he knew this puppy moved like nothing else on Earth. Nearing top speed only moments after departure the new navigator confirmed they were only moments from the target.

“Have you deployed the shielding and Armor?” Santa growled. His blood was up and he was still pissed about missing an evening of the three newest elf wenches he had already mentally picked out.  He was certain though that they would get a good night out of it when he returned.

“Armor and shielding are deployed, holding at 100 percent, Captain Santa.” The elf then fell silent.

“Good. You learn faster but don’t forget how replaceable you are.”

“Never, Captain Santa.”

A moment later the Destroyer was about five miles from its target. The Kaffeklubben Island was a shit hole in the northern most armpit of the Arctic. Acquired in a backwater deal some time ago, Santa used it as a proving ground for his weapons testing and prison. The latter he saved for those especially naughty boys and girls he really hated. It was a place of absolute cold and desolation.

The arctic air gave the entire place a hazy blue green glaze with nearly no sunlight for most of the year. It was depressing being this close and it put Santa in an even fouler mood than before.

His loins ached and he needed a drink.

“God forsaken place. Who in the blue hell would want to come here?”

Santa waited for the sniveling little creature next to him to utter a single word, a syllable and that would be the end of his pathetic life. If he killed at least five more his evening wouldn’t be a total loss.

“Kaffeklubben island approach in ten seconds Captain Santa.”

“Send out a beacon and see if whatever the hell ruined my evening is still alive out there. I want who or whatever it was squirming on a stick in the next hour or else!”

The little elf got up from his seat and headed into the back. No need to respond. The big man was looking for reasons and he was not about to give him one.  Not this close to the holiday season and his paid time off.

Just as the cockpit door opened, the ship's external proximity alarm went off. The red lights and warning siren engaged at full volume nearly scaring the elf into soiling himself.

“Screw the beacon. I am going out there myself and you’re covering flank. Don’t get yourself killed if you can help it.” Santa’s laughter peeled through the ship and with the sound of pure evil.

Santa pulled the two H&K USP pistols from their holsters and checked the safeties. Everything was in order as he opened the closed door and out he went into the cold night.

The wind was strong, strong enough to knock the little elf around like a windsock but he managed to get into the lee of Santa’s huge frame and keep his feet.

As the two of them paced out from the ship and Santa stopped. He had noticed something on the ground right outside of where the destroyer had land-docked that caught his attention.

“Look at these footprints and they’re fresh.” Santa bent down and removed his black glove. He dragged his first two fingers through the track and raised his fingers to his enormous bulb of a nose sniffing.

“Whatever left these tracks is no longer living.” Santa declared.

The elf looked around nervously waiting for his next order. Santa replaced his glove and moved on without another word. There was nothing Santa loved more than the hunt. Women, nice children or evil creatures roaming around on his private island, it didn’t really matter. The thrill was ultimately in the chase… and the kill.

The elf had his tracking gear up and running. The blipping sound was strangely desolate yet comforting out here on the tundra. As the elf scanned the tract of land in front of them he caught something on the gear that made his stop dead.

“One hundred fifty feet straight ahead Captain Santa.” In his excitement the elf forgot to drop the ‘Captain’.

“This better not be some pesky animal all the way out here we are chasing or your head will hang on my this very evening!”  Santa growled over the howling wind.

“Too big to be an animal Santa. Whatever it is, its walking, upright.” The elf responded.

Santa walked another dozen paces ahead and stopped. The little elf running to catch up nearly smacked right into his black military boot.

Ahead of them stood three figures. They were poorly dressed for this climate but strikingly beautiful. Their clothing was in tatters, what clothing they did have and they looked somehow strangely ghost-like.  Each was singing something quiet and haunting.

The elf checked his gear again not believing what he was seeing, chalking the confusion up to the blinding snow and the fear he felt but the gear was never wrong. It was in fact three women, standing twenty-five feet ahead of them.

“Head back to the ship and have them make the chamber and my bedroom ready. Tonight’s adventure is about to begin.”  Santa said in a low commanding tone.

“Sir, they look… something isn’t right here.” The little elf trailed off.

Santa looked down at him and the smile the elf saw chilled him to his core.

“I know. Now go and make things ready. I have some hunting to do. Pray I don’t come after you when I finish.”

The elf watched the big red man place both hands up in front of him in a false gesture of peace he had seen before and heard that all to familiar call before turning and running back to the ship.

“Ho Ho Ho. What do we have here, ladies?” 

P.S.: This is 3rd Chapter of BLOODY SANTA vs ZOMBIE SIREN. Here are links to previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2.

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