BLOODY SANTA vs ZOMBIE SIREN. Chapter 6.

by Ksenia Anske


We continue our chain story. Read about how it started here.

Please welcome our 6th author, Franziska Dirnberger (aka @agirlmadasbird), a poet at heart who sometimes dips her toe into writing stories. She is currently obsessed with Dylan Thomas, loves the smell of a new book, is interested in life's difficulties and sometimes starts singing and dancing in the streets for no particular reason.

Photo by Helen Warner

BLOODY SANTA vs ZOMBIE SIREN. Chapter 6 by Franziska Dirnberger

Back in the olden days a rumor, widely spoken about, had filled Kaffeeklubben Island. When Edwin and all the first-born elves were still alive, a tale was whispered of beautiful women drowning entire armadas by luring them into a seductive net of soft melodies.

One of them was Laira, an elder amongst the emancipated tribe of the ladies of the water. Her slender figure, black hair and piercing blue eyes had led countless strangers into termination. They were so oblivious to the approaching of their end, that not until acute teeth sunk into arteries, fate dawned on them. Countless eyes filled with terror had gazed at Laira while her heart had widened with excitement. But on the eve of the centennially nomination of a new Santa everything as she knew it changed.

For hundreds of years the Sirens had lived in coexistence with the elves and Santa. Until this one particular nomination day, this impertinence, this human stepped onto Kaffeeklubben Island and claimed his right to the throne of Arctica. Santa Claus the Redeemer, as he called himself, slayed the unprepared Council of retired gift bringers and announced a new era of Christmasy Traditions. The bloody battle fought to prevent this wrongful uprising  left the Kaffeeklubben Siren tribe defeated and smaller in numbers. Upon the dawning of his victory, the new Santa Claus raised his theatric dooming voice and cast a curse:

“No one will ever see you as flesh and blood, you will be damned to live a life as ghastly antics, only the sun will reveal your awful faces. Not dead, nor alive your figures get frozen. As beautiful ghostly creatures you will walk the land by night, haunted by a craving for mammal flesh.“  This was before the steriliziation started and Santa degenerated to a clumsy sack of curse words.

The aftermath of the bane had severely devitalized the Siren tribe of Kaffeeklubben Island. Driven by their urge for meat, neither elves nor baby reindeer were safe from their sharp claws.

Before, hunting had been a dance of pleasure and pain, equally arising as the season of the tides. After Santa’s brutal strike the Sirens collapsed in a cloud of desperate preying on the weak and least tasteful members of the food chain, cloned elves, first generation.

Sometimes Laira would keep one of the elves alive for interrogation, but their numbly brains only revealed fractures of Santa’s growing dictatorship. The fictional numbers of weapons and H&K USP what-nots were no reason for not eventually drowning them.

So much time has passed since the unspeakable had happened that almost everybody had forgotten about the very existence of the once so beautiful women.

Laira’s heart ached of the mere memory of it. Since then, her tribe has gathered strength and power. Now it was time to act, to reclaim back their rightful territory and teach that bastard of a Santa a lesson.

Pacing up and down the hallway of her cold, dark chamber, she felt this urge again. Her eyes darkened at the smell of pulsing blood.

P.S.: This is 6th Chapter of BLOODY SANTA vs ZOMBIE SIREN. Here are links to previous Chapters: Chapter 1,Chapter 2Chapter 3, Chapter 4, and Chapter 5.

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BLOODY SANTA vs ZOMBIE SIREN. Chapter 5.

by Ksenia Anske


Right. We continue our chain story. Read about how it started here.

Please welcome our 5th author, Lindsay Pate (aka @lpate1). Long time motor mouth and avid reader, Lindsay is currently working on her first novel. It is a love/hate relationship that she hopes one day to come to grips with it and actually publish it. Until then she distracts herself with her new blog, short stories, and her crazy supportive boyfriend and his two beautiful daughters.

Photo by Eartha Kitsch

BLOODY SANTA vs ZOMBIE SIREN. Chapter 5 by Lindsay Pate

The ancient elf heard the heartbreaking song once more, but this time another familiar sound accompanied it. Edwin crept slowly towards the clashing sounds. The song was so beautiful and deep and the other noise was a harsh clamor that made Edwin tremble with dread. Walking slowly and steadily towards the commotion, a scene he had never imagined, on the deserted arctic island, came into focus. There stood that fat bastard Santa Claus, looking as disgusting as ever, drooling over three captivatingly beautiful women. 

All three of the women’s clothes were tattered, only accentuating their enigmatic beauty. Each of them stood tall with curves that would make any man feel inadequate. 

Edwin noticed something different about these women, something that made him even more nervous than Santa Claus. So as not to get caught, he hid behind a nearby rock to see what was about to unfold.

Santa spoke obnoxiously, “Ho Ho Ho. What do we have here, ladies?”

The melody halted quickly, and the women stared boldly back at the red goblin.

A woman with long, perfectly straight jet black hair spoke deliberately in return, “Hello Mr. Claus. What brings you to this cold land?”

Santa cleared his throat, attempting to regain control of his insatiable cravings, “I should be asking you ladies that. Why you are on my island? It seems as though we could find a place that would be more…suitable for three enchanting women like you.”

Seeing these women aroused something deep within him that he had not felt in a long time. The cloned elves had been trained to please him in whatever way he demanded, but the thought of these three gorgeous goddesses in bed with him was enough to make him unravel. 

The red headed beauty spoke seductively, “We are here for you Santa, and we have been VERY bad girls.” 

Just hearing the woman speak nearly made Santa explode in his armored pants.

“Well, if you ladies would like to go somewhere a little warmer, we can discuss your punishment.” Santa spoke repugnantly.

“That’s okay, Santa, we quite like the cold, but if you follow us…we would love to show you something.” The third exquisitely attractive blonde woman spoke.

Leering at the three women Santa answered quickly, “Show me the way.”

The women glided across the snow delicately, while Claus traipsed clumsily behind with a big stupid fucking grin on his face. He came to a halt, realizing he was being led into a dark, frosty cave. 

“What is it you want to show me exactly?” He demanded.

“We can’t tell you Santa, we have to show you.” The women all giggled suggestively.

The red goblin, enraptured by their beauty and femininity, followed blindly into the frozen tomb. Finally reaching their destination, the three women began to circle around Santa. A piercing black took over their eyes, where an icy blue had been.  

P.S.: This is 5th Chapter of BLOODY SANTA vs ZOMBIE SIREN. Here are links to previous Chapters: Chapter 1,Chapter 2, Chapter 3, and Chapter 4.

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